Ruth Los | trouwfotograaf | wedding photographer » Blog

I’m much too old!

I’m almost 29!

A part of me (a big part actually) is freaking out, not only because I see all these new gray hairs on my head and new wrinkles around my eyes, but also because I see my life passing by so quickly and I have no idea what I’m doing with half my time here on Earth! (The other half I’m sure of, is composed of sleeping, most def!😁). So I’m almost 29, I have a husband for 7 years now, a baby for one and a half, but I still feel like this is not my time. It’s never been my time because I live vicariously through my past and the future doesn’t interest me one bit. I hate change, I hate growing old and I definitely hate seeing my baby grow so fast. So much is changing and too much change can’t be good. -just ask the climate, Michael Scott would say.
I love the sea but am afraid of water, therefore I can’t swim. I love the road, but I’m afraid of driving, therefore I don’t own a drivers license. I don’t like traveling because it makes me feel that we’re a generation that can’t sit still and is always demanding to be entertained with new things. And that’s not me. Because when I travel, I like to go to old places, to the familiar and the tamer of my soul, to reconnect and rediscover.
I cling too much to the past and I mourn the days that I’ll never get back. I wish each day would last a hundred because each day we have here is oh so precious..

a   G I F T   f o r   y o u